i.
my sick habit
it has never been something i thought i could let go
it took me til now to understand it
the lac of control created by being subservient to it, by always feeling compelled to its Call
& that is result of believing this time i could master it
& all the times i was in hopes of outcome, which
of the Will, is the virtue of chasing victory, after all
ii.
i never realized it wasn’t outside of me
& so when i let go,
still, there
you?
i’m finding it hard to believe. but i like songs that are homage, you know, not
burdensome unload of fooling myself
or thinking this is the trick that finally’ll go
